I think you are either one of those people who can respond to criticism with a witty remark, or let it boil up inside you and hours later come up with about 20 witty remarks. Unfortunately I fall into the latter category! So a few weeks ago when I was dropping Isobel off to creche an older women passing me by comments, “It’s very early for you to be dropping her off, its awful she has to start so early”. I kept walking, I was late actually and in a hurry to make work on time.
By the time I got back to my car and was halfway home I shouted out all the things in the car I wish I said to her.
1. Ffs I work, of course she has to start creche before I start work, unfortunately we live in a society were most people need 2 incomes to survive.
2. Will you f***ing pay me to stay at home and look after her. Not sure what planet you live on but thousands of women work every day in the home for no pay, unfortunately that is not an option for me.
And then I cried because I thought why do we live in a society where predominately women are so judgemental of mothers. Stop judging, stop shaming and ✋ with the mom guilt.
It is hard enough dropping her off everyday as she recites “mammy work, Isobel creche”. By the time I do drop her off I normally have been up for 2 hours, changed her, fed her, got her lunch, done a puzzle and negotiated about 50 bloody times with her to stay still in the car seat.
So you see even by the time I get to the creche door it can feel like I have already done a days work, without then, actually starting my real job.
So please, mothers have a hard enough time, and recent reports suggests working mothers are still completing over 70% of household chores also.
So if I don’t have a response for you it is because I am tired, tired of your judgement, tired of women putting each other down. So the next time you think about opening your mouth how about a “well done, it can’t be easy”, even a thumbs up would do…